Seven days...

I'm tanning up for the photos

FYI, Pure Gym tanning beds are £3 for 6mins. Winner. 

Yes, I'm aware of ageing/cancer/death risks. Calm your tits.

3 weeks (ish) to go and shit is going down, yo.

Mood: Happy but feeling the pressure
N/P: Chocolate - The 1975
Highlight of the week: Got a little acting role and film some scenes with a British legend next week. Amaze.
Thought for the day: In 4 weeks time I'll be on honeymoon. That thought is keeping me warm.

'iya.

I have learnt that everything happens at once with wedmin. We've had endless calls and emails from various companies and people to confirm final numbers/choices/designs over the past week. The "1 month to go" mark seems to be a biggun. So, here's how things lay at the moment:

Firstly, thank you!

Already had a few folk buying gifts from the John Lewis list and some donations to the Trailfinders pot. HUGE thank you to everyone. I will lick your faces in appreciation when I see you.
If that's what you're into.
Which invariably you wont be.

Stag do's
My stag do was a few weekends ago and it was epic. 20-odd of us took over a house in Ipswich and got on it for a few days. We had a superhero themed costume party, made a surprise visit to a beer festival and played laser-tag. Highllight of this was seeing my mates/family and spending time with everyone. Plus my friend Jon dressed as a drag-queen superhero called "The Sugar-Bum-Fairy" with a giant blond beehive and 12" dildo of justice. I have submitted the concept for Marvel and DC. I suspect they will be in touch any day now.

SIDE NOTE: I am THE BOLLOCKS at laser-tag. I won each game and got the highest player for the month, winning a free session. I have now added this achievement to my CV and am seeking employment in roles that involve running around in the dark, sweating and shooting my friends. You have been warned.

Neil's stag do is next. I have been given a few details and it sounds awesome!

Cake
This Friday we have a meeting to discuss the design of a large cake. I feel this is the only time in my life I will get to say that so here it is again:

This Friday we have a meeting to discuss the design of a large cake.

It should be pretty cool, can't wait for everyone to see it.

Meal
Testing wedding food and wine was one of the most enjoyable parts of this process for me (possibly because I'm dieting and I got to eat proper food). Me, Neil and most of our parental units ate, drank and had a good laugh at the venue for a few hours. It was relatively easy to make our choices. Hope you all like liver and onions.

JUST JOKING!

It's tripe and sprouts. Bon appetit, mother fuckers.

Diet
I'm on week 6 of the 5:2 intermittent fasting diet. Five days of the week I eat 2000 - 2500 calories, go to the gym and live normally. Two days of the week I eat 600 calories, collapse into bed at 8:30pm and cry uncontrollably when I see someone eating chips.

It's actually a manageable diet and I have lost a ton of weight and fit into my suit now. Specifically I have dropped 2% body fat and about 4.5kg so far. Nice.

Table plan
Neil, clever little monkey he is, has designed a brilliant table seating plan. It's pretty special, not seen one like it before and we will be keeping it for personal use post-wedding. Make of that what you will. Can't wait for you all to see it! All credit to Neil, I had very little involvement.

Ceremony
Ceremony is now planned in terms of readings and what not. Everything is coming together and, whilst I am really confident that it will be very memorable and special, I'm feeling the nerves. And I have a tendency to say inappropriate things when I'm nervous. So when I'm standing there, putting my finger in a ring, I am concerned as to what might slip out. As it were.

The last horse crosses the finish line...with style.

Loved this from my mate Rob, thought I'd share...

Time's up!

I've stopped chasing replies to invites now. If you didn't respond, we love you dearly but...

We're getting there!

We've had chats with our florist and DJ this week. A pleasure dealing with them as they are both mates of ours! Currently feeling very lucky and excited that they'll be sharing their mad skillz with us. I feel like dancing

Bye bye cupcakes

So, we had decided for sure that we were going to make our own cupcakes. Decision made. Locked down. Nothing was going to change that.

This weekend we made a demo batch of 25. It took us so long and was such a ball-ache that the idea was rapidly abandoned. We've called in the professionals. It will still be something pretty unique and special so will keep it quiet until the day.

I can now share with you the design we had chosen;

Red velvet cakes with torched Italian meringue frosting.

Two more possibilities considered were:

Red velvet with cream cheese icing & dark chocolate Lego men and coloured shards

k

11 weeks to go...

Mood: OK with a hint of the belly-wobbles.

Thought for the day: Broadchurch was amazing and Olivia Colman is phenomenal.

N/P: Nowt, I’m at work. Clearly being very diligent.

I have the fear. And not in a cheeky Lily Allen way. Time is ticking away and whilst I’m sure we’re hitting all the marks and doing exactly what we should I’m still left with a soufflé-in-a-cupboard sinking feeling. We’ve both been discussing and organising things flat out for the past few weeks but it always feels like more could/should be underway and its getting my stylish yet affordable knickers in a twist. I fear this is how bridezillas are born.

Aside from that, lots of fun things going on at the moment:

• Firstly we’ve booked a menu tasting session with parents at The Belle Epoque. Anyone that knows me knows that I’m an absolute gannet (as I proved with the hor d'oeuvre at our friends wedding a few weeks ago) and I can’t wait. One of the big selling points of the venue is that, whilst they are a boutique hotel, they are primarily a restaurant with phenomenal food. I look forward to a food induced coma in May.

• Our invites have been mostly returned now. The RSVP date has lapsed and so it’s time to send menacing glares to those who have yet to reply. Here are a few pics of them, all designed by Neil as he’s a little genius. I bloody love them:

• We have two gifting options for people wishing to give us something on the day, one with John Lewis and one with Trailfinders. On Sunday we went to John Lewis, were given a handheld scanning device and were set lose to browse and make up our list. I had visions of us running around like kids in a sweet shop, zapping everything in site, diving and spinning through the air in a Bond style display of well targeted laser tagging. It wasn’t. We spent twenty minutes choosing the most attractive hoover, I threw a bitch-fit when I couldn't find a gravy boat and we nearly came to blows over kitchen clocks. If you ever are in the same position I suggest giving yourselves more than 2 hours to take on this task and possibly split a Valium before picking up the zapper.

In other news I’ve managed to sprain a tendon in my knee.

Was it by falling? No.

Was it by some sporting mishap? No.

Was it perhaps by running for a tram to make sure I’m on time for work as I’m fastidiously reliable? Don’t be daft.

I was knee-skidding to pick up an inflatable guitar at the aforementioned friends wedding.

Don’t look at me like that.

What else is a 29 year old man supposed to do in the guitar-solo of Queen’s "Don’t stop me now" when the opportunity arises? All seems to be healing well, crutches are gone and hopefully I’ll be back to dancing like an octopus having a seizure by the stag do.

My method of arranging table seating plans

We tried doing this on a pad but had to scribble things out so often and wasted so much paper that it was becoming daft. So I give you my cocktail-stick-name-place-turnip-hedgehog! I shall get some blue-tac, some cardboard tables and readjust place names until perfected.

BOOM! I'm the daddy of root vegetable based wedding administration.

Blog posts are like buses

Mood: 'cited
NP: "Memphis soul stew"
Highlight of the week: Cracking hen party for my mate Jo last weekend
Thought of the day: Why does everyone assume humpty-dumpty was an egg?

No posts for epic amounts of time as, essentially, bugger all has been happening. Between July last year and January of this year there has been very little to do except save money and think. However on New Years Eve weekend we went shopping with my brother and sister-in-law and bought our wedding suits. To my utter shock we have decided to go for matching suits which I never thought we'd do. However, after looking at a few, we had a simultaneous sword-in-the-stone moment when we both pulled the outfit from the rail and, well, that was that really. Wont post a photo of them here, will keep it secret until the big day but they are gorgeous little Ted Baker numbers that we look HOT in. Obviously.

Rings have also been purchased and arrived safely this week. Again, was very surprised that we DIDN'T opt for matching rings but have chosen very different styles from each other. And no pics of them either. I would never flaunt my ring on the internet.

These are the other things that have happened since I last posted, I hope you enjoy the GIFs that illustrate my feelings (yes, I do GIFs now):

• Invites have been made and are being posted tomorrow (will do another post about this tomorrow)

 

• Wedding cupcakes have been designed and trialled 

• To make the cupcakes affordable we're going to have to make them ourselves 

• Our registration district are being awkward about our ceremony by refusing to provide any content info so I need to have a "meeting" with them

• We are now dedicating every Sunday for the next 4 months to getting the wedding sorted

In other news I have now started officiating weddings in Manchester so I know my way around a ceremony or two. I have also been asked to marry my cousin and his fiancé later in the year which is a huge honour, very excited.

So from nothing happening we now have EVERYTHING happening. Lots more decisions to be made over the coming weeks and I will be posting a lot more. I hope.

Big gay FAQ

What will you be doing the night before? Fancy a pint? 

Thanks for the offer but I doubt we’ll have much time to see many mates on the Friday as we’ll be too busy shaking like shitting dogs. Which is time consuming. 

How do I get to the venue? 

The postcode for sat-navs/Googlemaps is WA16 6DT. See the invite for a map, full address and list of car parks. It’s very easy to find. Scouts honour. 

What time should I arrive at The Belle Époque? 

The ceremony starts at 2pm (i.e. one/both of us will be walking down the aisle at 2pm). Aim to arrive at about 1:30pm to be safe. I’d expect guests to be called through to take seats in the ceremony room at about 1:50pm. 

What happens if I arrive late? 

The Belle Époque staff will let you know what to do. If you’re too late you may miss the ceremony so try to be early. 

I want to throw things at your head. What’s the situation with confetti? 

The venue has a charge for cleaning if we allow confetti. At the moment we’re not sure if we’re going to go with it or ban confetti. Check back here a few weeks before the day. 

Can I bring a plus one? 

A few invites state “Name and guest”. If yours doesn’t then I’m afraid not. As with all weddings we’re on a budget and can only afford to host a certain number of guests. Should anyone drop out we’ll let people know so they can bring a partner. 

Would you prefer me to get you something from the John Lewis list or a donation to your Trailfinders account? 

I can’t make this clear enough: no one is expected to get us anything at all. We are very genuinely happy just with the fact that you’ll be there. 

Seriously? 

Yep. 

For realsies? So you won’t mind if I get you a sauce-pan? 

Honestly. If you do wish to gift anything we have no preference over either account. Everything on the John Lewis list is something we need for the new house and the Trailfinders list is essentially a savings account for our big honeymoon. 

I intend to GET ON IT in the evening and am liable to need extra cash for Jägerbombs. Is there a cash point near by? 

There is. Come out of the venue, turn left and walk for about 2-3mins.  

What time will the reception end? 

The bar closes at 12:30am and last carriages are at 1am – all guests not staying over in the hotel will be asked to leave at this time. 

Can I book a room in The Belle Époque? 

Nope, super-soz. There are only seven rooms at the venue and they’re for us, our parents and a few people who have helped us out with their skills on the day. 

What hotels are in the area? 

The Rose & Crown - http://www.roseandcrownknutsford.net/ 

The Cross Keys - http://www.crosskeysknutsford.com/ 

Premiere Inn - http://www.premierinn.com/en/hotel/KNUKIL/knutsford-mere 

The Mere - http://www.themereresort.co.uk/ 

Cottons - http://www.cottonshotel.com/ 

Are there any taxi firms nearby? 

Have a look at: http://www.yell.com/s/taxis+and+private+hire+vehicles-knutsford.html 

Is anyone going back into Manchester that might want to share a taxi? 

Very good question. Send me an email if this might apply to you and I’ll try and put together a group. Not in a Louis Walsh way. I wont make you sing “You raise me up”. 

Do you have any plans for the Sunday? 

Breakfast with family and then trying to see as many people as possible before they go their separate ways. If you’re going to be around Sunday afternoon or evening and want to try and catch up, let us know and we’ll try and make it happen. 

Let us know if you have any other questions, but for now...