In your weddingz, stealin' your plans...

Mood: Grumpy - off work sick. 

Through for the day - Judge Judy & a pot of tea cures all ailments!

Now playing - Pumped up kicks, Foster the People

Being on the wrong side of 25 has few upsides – hair is receding, my face is getting craggy and I think a shop assistant winced when I tried on some carrot trousers the other day. My only hope is to ride it out, pray to Kylie that I grown into myself and wake up one morning transformed into Jason Statham. On the upside though a decent proportion of my mates are getting (or have gotten) married, giving me a load of inspiration for my own C.P. . I have been to two in the past month and this post is about the first;

Natalie and John are friends of Neil’s, who went to uni with the former. They married on 21^st May 2011 and we were lucky enough to be invited to the whole day. It was BEAUTIFUL. A traditional church wedding followed by meal and reception at a very swanky hotel with bags of charm (and a lamp that would have made a 1960's Robertson's jam employee raise an eyebrow, regard;). 

During the meal and speeches the bride and groom wore traditional Indonesian attire, a nod to Natalie's fathers heritage which was unique and elegant. Champaign and canapés when we arrived, wine at the table and a free bar in the evening ensure that we all had a brilliant day. It also ensured that I hit the dance floor like a possessed epileptic and swung Natalie around the dance floor, possibly to her horror. A killer buffet including end-of-the-night bacon butties soaked up the excess booze (but not enough to stop my friends Jo and Phil entering comas on the back seat of the car - I have decided for the safety of my testicles not to post those pics). Amazing day! 

Ideas I might want to steal: a table filled with sweets, video camera set up for guests to record messages and treating guests to a free bar! Though the latter might not be possible/sensible knowing our mates ;o)

Remember when I said "Never trust a rugby player"?

This has been suggested for my stag do.

http://myworldpopulationme.com/2009/02/02/blowing-up-cows-with-bazookas-in-cambodia/

DO. NOT. WANT.

Just a quickie...

En-GAY-gement party

Mood: Knackered! Just got in from t'gym
Now playing: Shirley Ellis - The Clapping Song
Highlight of the week: Seeing Glee live at the MEN arena. Gayest, most shameful 2 hours of my life to date. And I've been to Vauxhall.

Last Saturday night was the engagement party and I think now, 1 week on, we're just about fully recovered. It was an incredible night, although due to trying to speak to everyone, I can barely remember a single conversation.

We had told the venue, Rain Bar, a few weeks prior to the event that we were expecting about 40 people and the manager scheduled one staff member to cover our bar. At the peak there were almost 90 people there! Had to make guilt flavoured apology cupcakes for the staff the next day (I think someone had to stay late to help out).

Thanks to everyone who came, helped with decorations or baked for us. All greatly appreciated. Also, we had requested that no one give us any gifts but instead donated to The Wood Street Mission (http://www.woodstreetmission.org.uk/) and it seems we raised in-excess of £200 for them! Aces.

In other news I have now chosen and asked all of my best people/grooms maids to be part of the wedding party. Regard;

Sarah Evans (chief grooms-maid for team Bacon)


Met: In a mosh-pit of a metal gig when we were at college. She thought my name was Extacy for a week.

Best memory with: My first festival (V2001) and the infamous boob-train.

Bringing to the party: Flamboyance. I you can't have a gay wedding without this living, breathing, singing rainbow.





Antony Harvey


Met: In infant school in our first week. My oldest friend by a good decade.

Random memory: Harvey thinking crushed chilli flakes in Pizza Hut were potpourri, taking a big whiff and spending the rest of his 8th birthday covered in tears and snot.


Bringing to the party: Stag do stamina. He has gotten me into more alcohol fuelled capers in the last 20-odd years than I can remember. Never trust a rugby player.


Rae Boswell (the one not wearing a hat)


Met: In Mrs Bland's maths class in year 7. Rae's name is apparently very hard to say when you've had a stroke and caused the teacher to spit and dribble. Bless her slanty-face. We were inseparable for years and I miss her loads now I'm all northern.

Random memory: Filling her mum's back yard with hand painting garden gnomes whilst they were on holiday. That and having to come out to her twice. Blondes.


Bringing to the party: A lot. She's not only bags of fun but I trust her with my life.


Nikki Bacon


Met: In a hospital after she came out of our mum.

Random memory: Being about 10, holding her wrists, spinning on the spot and releasing her to glide screaming into a hedge. I must have done it 10 times. Silly cow.

Bringing to the party: Chuckles. No one makes me laugh so much in the world. x

Gay fish and financial woes

Been an age since I posted on this so about time for an update.

The past month has pretty much involved me pulling my hair out over money. That’s my excuse for the receding hairline and I’m sticking to it. I want the big day to be memorable, fun and as hassle free for our guests as possible and the average post for a CP, meal, party, honey-moon etc. seems to be at about £12-14k or so. This seems steep to a man such as myself who can usually be found in the discount fridge section of Tesco (“OMFG! Rainbow trout for £1.89!! It expires today but I must buy all seventeen!”). However when compared to the cost of the average straight wedding, which was reported to be £18,605 as of May 2011, I get the urge to wave my rainbow trout flag aloft and squeal in delight at saving a few quid for being a bummer.

Still, it means a lot of saving is to be done. I have had a budget set for me by my more financially astute fiancé, new accounts have been applied for with the best rates of interest and, though it almost made me weep, I have been dropping CV’s off for part time bar work. I have already been subjected to a totally fruitless interview for a door host position at a new restaurant in town. Well, I say "interview". I sat there for ten minutes whilst two beige human beings fingered my CV and questioned my ability to put on a tie and write down names and numbers. I should probably be more concerned that I didn’t get the job.

I did win £4.40 on the euromillions on Friday though so, y’know, swings and roundabouts.